


Far Apart but Loved

by Jakette



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Be More Quarantine Challenge, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Isolation, Regency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:46:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakette/pseuds/Jakette
Summary: Sidney Parker comes home after a two week long work trip only to find his wife isolated at home on account of a contagious virus.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 17
Kudos: 56





	Far Apart but Loved

When Sidney walked into his home, to his beloved Charlotte and his two angel children, from his two-week trip abroad he had no idea of the welcome he was to receive. 

No child ran to him as he entered; as had happened when he previously came back from his trips. No wife of his stood at the threshold to welcome him with a kiss. Instead he was welcomed by his siblings and Mary; all solemn faced, dreading to share their news.  
So, he sat on the chair in front of the fireplace. He had taken in all that they had told him but he couldn’t make sense of it. It couldn’t be true. He had seen Charlotte not two weeks ago healthy and lively. She had written to him a few days ago. He could still envision her warm smile. Surely, they had it wrong. In his revive he vaguely acknowledged Mary coming to stand near him. 

“Sidney,” She began softly “You understand what we mean don’t you?” 

He looked at her dazed. “I – No. I must see her.” 

“Sidney it would only be detrimental to you.” Tom pitched in from behind. 

“Do you expect me to leave her be then? Is that what you all have done? Has she been alone for the past three days? Sick. Taking care of her own self?!” He bellowed standing up. 

He got up pacing the room. Unable to make sense of this new information he had suddenly been given to deal with. The facts had rushed to his mind now. He was angry and upset. His beautiful, precious Charlotte was sick and he wasn't the wiser about it. No one had written to him. He would have left all his work in an instant to be near her. What enraged him more was everyone’s continuous persistence on the contagious nature of the disease. Did they really expect him to care? Had they really left her alone? Did everyone really think he wouldn't enter their chambers and ask after her? 

"Of course not. But Dr. Fuchs strongly advised us not to meddle. For all our sakes. You should as well Sidney.' Tom tried again. 

"Not meddle. She is my wife, Tom. I will not leave her alone because I am afraid of getting sick." He seethed. 

"Sidney, you don't understand - " Tom tried again but Sidney cut him off. 

"In sickness and in health is it not?" He directed his words to Tom who faltered at his them. 

Diana who was silent till now, was the next one to speak. "What of the children Sidney? Would you put them through such an ordeal?" She asked silently. 

"I am sure they will be well looked after Diana. Charlotte is alone because Dr Fuchs has refused you all to meet her. I do not hold by the same principles - " 

"Sidney it is contagious and very serious! I understand you are afraid and shocked because no one informed you of Charlotte's sickness but I will not allow you to willingly walk into this." Tom persisted heavily at this point. 

"Do you hear yourself Tom? She is alone and sickly! And I haven't seen her in two weeks. I do not care a damn about what Dr. Fuchs has or has not to say. Excuse me." 

From his agitated state in the parlour he walked past Tom and rushed to the hallway that led to his and Charlotte's private chambers. His feet carried him quickly but just as he turned to the hallway leading to their room, he heard two things at once.   
One was Charlotte’s yell, " Sidney! Please don't!"   
And the other was from across the door, where he heard two pairs of steps running up towards him yelling;   
"Papa! You're home!” 

He felt the rush with which they greeted him and fell to his knees immediately to greet his two children. His resolve to not care for his well-being breaking as his knees hit the floor.   
Violet and Harry hugged him tightly, he could feel the toll of the last few days had had on them just by their embraces.   
They had missed their parents what had he been thinking? As he hugged them and reiterated the desperation in Charlotte's voice he understood. 

He couldn't be selfish. He had two lives to care for. Left to his own he would have knocked that door down right now and embraced Charlotte. But how could he give in to his selfish desire when two pure innocent souls looked to him for care and loved him as they did.

He pulled back and forced a smile at them;   
"How did you fare without me then?" He asked affectionately cupping their cheeks. 

"We were well Daddy but Mamma got sick!" Violet explained to him. 

"We miss her awful" Harry chimed in. 

" I miss her terribly too. You haven't seen her lately I take it?” He asked gently to which both of them turned sad.

"When can we see her Pappa?" Violet asked innocently "We've been talking to her but I miss her embrace. Harry does too." she explained. 

There were a few moments in his life when Sidney could vividly remember feeling his heart break. Now was one of those moments - his children's innocent longing for their mother inflicted pain unto him. 

He collected himself and smiled at them "Well I'm not as warm as your mother, but I think you can manage with me for some time." He said opening his arms wide with a smile on his face A smile crafted after much hardship but a smile nonetheless.  
Violet being her Papa's little angel readily moved back to hug him with Harry following suit. He hugged them tightly. He couldn't leave them to anyone. No one would o  
Violet being her Papa's little angel readily moved back to hug him, Haary following suit. He hugged them back tightly. He couldn't leave them to anyone. No one would or could take his and Charlottes' place for them. 

His pent-up frustration l and anger and sadness all came out and at once as he felt moisture streaming down his cheeks as he hugged them. What he wouldn't give to have Charlotte standing right next to them smiling. 

Mary stood beside them, having left the room during the siblings heated discussion to check on the children - to allow them to meet with their father at least once and perhaps stop him. It had the desired effect but never in her life Mary thought she would see tears in Sidney's eyes. He looked at her from where he hugged his children a look of helplessness and desperation in his eyes. Mary could see he was fighting every fibre in his being to not knock down the door and be with Charlotte. He loved her so, Mary knew if something happened to her Sidney would be irretrievable. 

She laid a hand on his back assuring him silently that they would talk at length about Charlotte later in the absence of the children. She left the Parkers to their little incomplete family retreat as Sidney whispered sweetly to both of them at a great deal of effort on his part making them giggle and smile uncontrollably - reminding them of some sense of normalcy and of the irrevocable love their parents had for them. 

He spent the next few hours playing with Violet and Harry. Giving them twice his attentions until they were finally tired and put to sleep. He told them stories of various adventures making sure they smiled before they slept. 

His suspicions had been confirmed by Mrs. Green that Mr. and Ms. Parker had indeed fell asleep crying last night on the account of their mother's absence. He kissed them goodnight, assured them of their mother’s good health and walked out the door - only once he was sure they were sound asleep for the night. As he closed the door, his grief and helplessness came back to him in full force. 

Living life without Charlotte was unimaginable, he had had a taste of it in the past and he did not wish to live through it again. He ran a hand over his face wanting above all else to just hold Charlotte near him. Have her tell him all is fine and well in her sweet voice. 

Alas, he moved to the living room where his siblings and Mary sat all anxious of the mood he'd return in. 

“I apologise for my earlier behaviour I –“ he began but fell short of words as to how he could explain to them the entirety of his disappointment of not coming home to his wife healthy and well when this was all he longed for, for the past two weeks. He tried again but Tom cut him off;

"It's quite alright Sidney. I trust Violet and Harry have been able to convince you otherwise. You're a good man Sidney." 

Sidney huffed at that. A good man he may be. But he was having legitimate doubts about being a good husband. What good husband left his wife be locked in a room, isolated in sickness completely uncared for. He didn't press on it however rather he turned to Mary,

"Pease tell me the scope of her sickness and everything that needs to be done. Everything and anything that I can do within my power to expedite her recovery." He almost pleaded with her. 

"She's doing better everyday Sidney. The first two days were the worst but she's been better ever since. She can walk and has been talking to us all through the door. Even now, I'm almost sure she hasn't gone to sleep waiting for you." She smiled at him and continued, "However, Dr Fuchs has been serious about the quarantine Sidney. If you saw her in her initial days you'd understand. Please don't take this lightly." She warned him for good measure once more.

"How long will this continue then?" He asked tired 

"Dr. Fuchs saw a similar case on his recent visit to Germany. He says he's seen the researches and is sure that Charlotte's condition isn't as bad as his last patient. He's confident that as soon as she has regained strength and has overcome the symptoms, she can be amongst us once more."   
He sighed. Only God knew how long that would be and he missed her terribly even now. He wanted to talk to her. To tell her everything that happened to him. To hear her views and see her innocent eyes light up as she heard new things and jested him. 

"How long will that be?" He crocked. He was tired, alone and worried. He could take not an ounce more of bad news. 

"The good doctor is confident it'll just be a week. Sooner even." Mary smiled resting her hand on his shoulder. "She'll pull through this Sidney. Our Charlotte is strong and has much to live for." 

"Not to mention she wouldn't leave us with Broody Mr. Parker" Arthur joked. Sidney didn't have it in him to smile but he felt the truth of his brother’s words. Perhaps he would turn into the same disagreeable man without her. 

They all took their leaves within the hour, promising to come again tomorrow; leaving Sidney alone in his house. He sat in the loneliness of the once cheerful house. Charlotte would be sitting with him reiterating her day and sweet anecdotes of their children to him and vice versa. 

Before long, her absence had made him pivot towards the door. He stood in front of the shut door unaware of how she was, what she wore and how sick she looked. 

He placed his head against the door and after a minute softly called out almost expecting her not to answer, "Charlotte..." He sighed her absence all too unbearable. He wished he could just walk in and hold her in his arms, stroke her hair till she got better.   
His trip had met with awful whether conditions and he already had to delay his return by 3 days and now this. Being so close yet unable to approach her. It was a new kind of pain and test. A new kind of torture of not being able to hold her. 

He was surprised when he heard her voice call out to him with a glint of happiness he felt. 

"Sidney! I've been waiting all day for you." Charlotte had spent the days locked up but today was the hardest. She hadn't let anybody write to him because she knew if he was here staying in her room alone would be all the harder. Of all days she felt today had to be the hardest. She had already feared his reaction to the news. She hadn't ever considered he would disregard himself for her. 

"Have you?" he felt himself smile for the first time since he came back. “I wish…. I wish I could be with you right now Charlotte.”

"You are Sidney. Look, we're talking to each other." She smiled even though he couldn't see her. 

"You know that's not what I mean. I wish I was in the room holding you right now." He confessed. 

"I must admit I'm glad you aren't Sidney. I wouldn't want anyone to fall ill because of me. Besides, you have two children who love you very much." She smiled. Despite the tough day, it was nothing could over shadow the respite of talking to her loving husband once more - that was reason enough to be happy. 

Sidney could feel her happiness and warmth embrace him from across the wooden door. Her voice lifted his spirits and prolonged his pain.   
"Please don't talk like that. They have a doting mother as well and I won't countenance another thought." He reprimanded her on the insinuation of anything but her speedy recovery. 

"Sidney I'll only say it once and never mention it again but thank you for not opening this door. I should hate for our children to be deprived of both of us." She solemnly noted. 

Sidney hit his fist against the door but immediately realising his mistake spoke in a restrained voice;  
"They will not be deprived of either of us. Please Charlotte." He pleaded - almost begged - with her. He simply did not want to think of it. Living with her under the same roof, without seeing her was hard enough. He wouldn't, couldn't think of anything else. 

"Alright. I won't speak like that." She conceded after a minute. "But can I just ask, what stopped you form entering Sidney?" 

"I saw Violet and Harry. They ran to me and I - I didn't have the heart to take another step." He sighed and too ashamed of himself to even say it very softly added "I'm sorry Charlotte." 

But being so near to the door she had heard him.   
How could this man she so adorably oblivious she thought to herself? Was he really going to apologise to her for making the right decision? For choosing his children who needed him more over her. Her heart swelled with love for him. But the anger at his oblivious declaration had inspired prevailed and she called out to him in all seriousness.  
"Sidney."   
When he didn't respond she called out once more with more resolve in her voice. "Sidney."   
"Yes" He barely said it, knowing what was coming. At times he felt a man such as him did not deserve her pure innocent kindness.   
"You have nothing to apologise for. Do you hear me Sidney? I'm well aware that you love me. Please don't, even for a minute longer, think about it. And be rest assured, I love you; more fervently than ever if possible."   
He was sure of it his wife had a heart of gold. Moreover, she had a heart of a mother. Of course, she thought this way. He smiled to himself at her words and declaration. This wouldn't escape his mind anytime soon. It made perfect sense but why did the guilt of not being near Charlotte right now weigh so much on him? At any rate, with a hand flat against the door's surface and a smile gracing his features he said to her;  
"I am of no consequence without you Charlotte. Your love sustains me and makes me who I am. I associate no other emotion to you other than my absolute devotion." He whispered the last part to her as if saying a prayer. And to Charlotte; the reverence she had heard in his voice it might as well have been.   
A sweet quiet moment of smiles on either end of the door Charlotte broke their silence  
"Well then, won't you tell me about your trip? How did you fare with your travels and your investor?"  
It didn’t take long after that, they sat backs against the wall. Talking in the same way they would've if not. Talking in the same way they would've if not for the distance between them. It was a weird thing but they no longer felt as forlorn as before. 

Charlotte realized why the distance had bene so suffocating over the past few days - no one would come talk to her longer than 15 minutes (other than a few isolated instances), so she spent majority of her time alone. But here sat Sidney for the past hour and a half talking to her. Narrating to her every last detail of anything and everything she wanted to know. She had missed him so much and here he was tired and exhausted still holding a stimulating conversation with her.   
At whatever point she had told Sidney to sleep he had brushed it off completely saying "But I'm the happiest and relaxed talking to you here." and she would feel the genuine smile gracing his features and tone. He had made her laugh and blush all within the night - she was confident this was the best she had felt in days.  
After a while, however, she felt his silence. 

She had been telling him of the discrepancies and unpleasant maleness in a book she had read he had been following attentively until about 5 minutes ago as she dissected the discrepancies of the plot.   
She felt awful. Sidney's silence could only mean one thing.  
Tomorrow morning Mrs. Green would wake him up from the stone-cold floor he had fallen asleep on. And she knew without a doubt he would get dressed only to show up at her door again to continue their conversation disregarding any discomfort he may have been in last night. There was the beauty of love in everything Sidney did, Charlotte thought, as she moved to lay in her warm made bed. 

His truest self was the most amazing man she had the pleasure of knowing. He was selfless, tender and beautiful she couldn't be happier that she was on the receiving end of his affections and he on hers. He had always without a second doubt offered her his heart, his absolute vulnerable self, in the ferocity of his love. She smiled to herself. It was a warm thought to be loved and to love the one you desire as she did Sidney. Warm enough to sustain her for the week of their distance. She slept soundly knowing she was no less loved today than yesterday.   
The man who gave her his heart and took hers instead who protected and safeguarded it, slept just as soundly right outside her door at the expense of his own comfort and self.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to turn this into a multi-chapter fic but I realized this part was what mattered. All else was just more details. I envisioned this part so clearly in my mind months ago but I never thought I'd be able to write it. Given everything that's been going on, I'm glad I did. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!  
> I am full aware there was no such outbreak in the regency era however for the sake of the story lets just its a very contagious and severe flu virus. Any questions, comments, remarks are most welcome! 💕  
> You can find me on Twitter @Zaynsmusic2


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